I have things I should be doing...

I really do.  I wouldn't say I'm procrastinating so much as... okay, yeah, forget it.  I'm procrastinating.  I have a big meeting at work tomorrow.  It's not one of those like "make or break the rest of your life" kind of meetings, but it is important. 

Let me back-track.  Well hell, how far back should I track?

Okay, so, I went to school for the ever-relevant and practical "theater degree".  What one is supposed to do with that in the proverbial real world, I will never know.  But as a mentor once said of me, "well, you interviewed well and while you knew nothing about the subject at hand, I figured you could at least act your way through it."  She was only slightly kidding.  I have a theater/creative writing degree that I have applied in very, very few ways.  Straight out of college, I was working for a radio station.  I was paid pennies for days upon days of work.  It was fun and exciting sometimes, but I didn't see much of a future there.  Plus, the "soon-to-be(ex)husband" wasn't doing much with his life, either and someone had to make some money.  So I scoured the want ads and flung my resume at anyone I could find.  I got an interview for a job and honestly, I had NO idea what the company did when I interviewed.  I'm not sure I knew what the company did AFTER I interviewed.  Honestly, I'm not so sure I knew exactly what it was we did even after I accepted the job.  But accept the job I did, and I was tossed right into the center of corporate America.

Cut to four years later when I was sitting across the desk from a blustering idiot who was rambling on about some nonsense that ended with "we no longer need your services."  (I skipped over the hours about hours of blood, sweat and tears I willingly gave during those four years; the weeks I spent away from home and my (failing) fledgling marriage.)  And once the devastating news settled and the months of just pain that followed subsided, none of that mattered.  I know that it wasn't what I was meant to do with my life.  While I was content, I wasn't truly happy and I wouldn't ever do anything more than let myself and those around me who mattered down once it was all said and done.

So no, there actually aren't any regrets.  I learned a lot about life in those four years.

So anyway, pain, sorrow, hurt feelings, resentments blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda it's now a year after that "we no longer need your services" conversation and I've been freelancing my way through life.  I realized I was missing that ever-necessary component called "health insurance" (and "human interaction," but I digress...) and I decided to get me one of those part-time jobs.  It was meant to be a time filler and nothing more.

But I never do things half-assed and the next thing I know, I'm not just climbing the corporate later, I'm like, being propelled up with one of those helicopter-hat things in the New Super Mario Brothers game for the Wii.  I never, ever would have thought that I'd want to be a life-long employee of retail establishment XYZ, but the more I learned, the more I loved and now I'm sitting pretty at the middle of the ladder.

ANNNNNYway, tomorrow I have a meeting with my boss that isn't make-or-break in and of itself, but one thing I did learn from that previous place is that every conversation matters.  And I know the picture I present tomorrow is going to be pretty damn critical.

And yet, I'm "not" procrastinating and sitting here instead updating the software on my laptop, my itunes and my iphone all at one time (thus making it virtually impossible to do much of anything else because, of course, those little prompts are demanding ALL of my time.)  (And yes, I did manage to get this blog written in that time-span.  Whatever.)

I guess I'm avoiding the fact that I have to put down on paper that I am working damn hard to achieve the title of "next up" within the next year.  Only with "next up" comes the possibility of being relocated and I was just starting to feel like I may have found home.

Oh damn it, see, I blog and get to the heart of the situation.  I guess that means my excuses have expired.  Next up, we'll talk about that definition of "home".